I had a rather amusing incident take place about 10 minutes ago at the corner of St. Urbain and St. Viateur. When I see drivers blatantly going through red lights on busy streets, I tend to show my displeasure. Sometimes I’ll swear, other times I’ll give them the one-finger salute. Either way, it’s just a way for me to say “You’re an idiot.”

It amazes me how many jock knuckleheads actually respond to this sort of infantile provocation. So today, I gave this idiot running a red light on St. Viateur the finger, and suddenly he forgot he was in a rush, stopped his car hard and fast with an awful screech, and gets out of the car. I just ignore him – I can smell these knuckleheads a mile away after living through many weekends of their ilk on my old street, and know it’s better not to bother. He gets out of the car and approaches me very aggressively, and asks what has to be the number one jock knucklehead question: “You got a PROBLEM?”. So I tell him he went through a red light. “Is that my PROBLEM, or you’re PROBLEM?”, as he actually pushes me with both his hands. Strangely, I wasn’t the least bit afraid, yet I knew that pushing back or even arguing with this guy was a complete waste of time and energy and probably hazardous to my health. So I just told him that it was my problem and had done with it. “Good, next time shut your mouth.” Brilliant! I told him I hadn’t said a word, that he was the guy who opened his mouth.

And that was that.

I couldn’t helpt but smile as I walked over to get my laundry… is it jocks can get so upset when someone gives them the finger and they’re clearly in the wrong? If I were fishing for jock knuckleheads and wanted a bait, I’d say just stand at any corner, wait for one of them to go through a red light as they invariably do, and get them with the one-finger salut. Usually works for me. 😉


2 thoughts on “Idiocy

  1. I had a similar incident in front of Point Vert a little while back, some goon came turning through a green light where I was walking, nearly mowing me down. I gave him a look but said and did nothing. He got out of his car and said, “What, you got a problem?”
    I said, nonchalantly, in an almost friendly, conversational tone, “Yeah! You almost ran me over when I had the right of way! That sucked!”

    He just looked at me and I walked away.

    Last week I was riding down de Maisonneuve past Concordia, and this minivan full of apparent frat doods in varsity jackets rolls up along side me. Driver’s got his window down, they pull up to my speed, and the guy screams, “EEENNNNNHHHH!” at me in this nasal voice that just goes on and on. He takes a breath and I, still riding, say, “What’s your fucking problem?” He starts screaming and all his moron friends are laughing, so I say, “What are, a fucking illiterate?” they laugh some more and speed off…

    …past MacKay…

    …to Guy, where they get a red light, where I pull up beside them, hork, and gob on the now-raised driver’s side window before riding off and down an alley where they’ll never catch up tome.

    1. Loved that last bit – stealth cycling!

      Yet there are far too many decent people out there to get caught up with the idiots – they only seem more plentiful sometimes because they’re just so damned obnoxious. But today, for a few minutes, at least one was in the foreground.

      I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes, but then think better of it. 😉

      Good to hear from you, Jesse!

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